sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
