I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
