You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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