I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
