We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
