I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
