Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think I died a long time ago.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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