why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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