This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
