Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
