I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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