i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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