Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
