I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
the liver wants what the liver wants
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
