I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
