I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
