and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
