is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
