How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My vagina just clenched in fear
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
