Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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