he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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