you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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