oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
