I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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