I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
