i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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