I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
