You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
