Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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