Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
