I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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