So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
