How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
