Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
