Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
