Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
