the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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