so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
