i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
