I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
