don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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