Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
