I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
