There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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