Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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