i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
