He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
ok first of all what the fuck
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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