You made me cry and you don't even care
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
