My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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