but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
